**Disclaimer - I want to remember exactly how it happened, so this post will include some details (some uglier than others!). If you do not want to know the inner workings of child birth you may want to just look at the pictures and move on (DAD - I'm talking to YOU!)!!!**
Sunday, May 19
I woke up feeling very tired. Like, VERY TIRED. I had been having contractions for the prior week. They were strong but not consistent. They would come and go throughout the day. On Sunday, they felt different. I started timing them around 11am. I cleaned out my entire closet and packed up more than 6 trashbags full of clothes donations. I was trying to distract myself from the pain! By 2pm the contractions were about 6 minutes apart. By 3pm they were 5 minutes apart.
I called the doctor on call. Dr. Klemons - one of my favorites. I thought that was a sign! She said to come into the hospital.
We brought Luke to Grandmom's so Aunt TT could watch him.
Contractions were strong on the way to the hospital. Once we got there we had NO idea where to go! We couldn't remember where we had gone three years prior and both of us forgot to check before we left the house! So we walked around for a bit before asking for directions.
It took the check-in lady FOREVER to check us into triage. The contractions were strong. I was highly annoyed.
Finally in triage, they hooked me up to all sorts of monitors. Asked me a ton of health questions. The nurse could see the contractions on the monitor.
The attending resident came in. She examined me and said I was only 1.5 - 2 cm. I was only in very early labor. They couldn't admit me. I had to go home and "labor on my own" for a while longer. She said "it could be a few hours or a few days". A FEW DAYS?!?! I couldn't bear to think about being in this much pain for A FEW DAYS!!!
We left the hospital very disappointed. AND IN PAIN!
We went to the food store - I felt like ice cream cake and figured, hey, I only have A FEW MORE DAYS of being pregnant, so why not?!
We got home.
I ate my ice cram cake.
Luke came home.
And then the contractions REALLY started.
I thought I knew what contractions were.
HA - I had no clue until around 6pm Sunday night.
These were ridiculous. It felt like the worst gas/period cramps of your life all rolled into one. The pain started at the top of my stomach and then worked all the way down my back to my legs. It squeezed until I couldn't breathe. I coudln't walk. I couldn't talk.
Weirdly, the only thing that made them feel better was walking....so I paced through the house, stopping when the contraction hit its peak and I could hardly stand, for 3 hours. Back and forth from the Family Room, through the kitchen and the dining room, to the living room and then back.
Luke kept "helping me" - he would hold my hand and walk me room to room - so stinking cute.
At 7pm we called Aunt TT - this was it. I knew I wasn't lasting all night. She decided to come over at 9pm and sleep at our house - just in case.
By 10:45pm I had enough. I felt like I must be at least 8 cm at this point! How could it get any worse?!
I called the doctor - she said to come on back to the hospital.
Check in was quicker this time - and we knew where to go! (BONUS for the dry one hours earlier!)
Same routine as last time - hooked up to monitors, asked a million questions and the big "exam" - I was 2-3cm. WHAT?!?! How was I not at least 8?!
Thankfully the resident on call (Kristen I think) was a SAINT. Serioulsy - an angel from heaven. She suggested that since my contractions were really strong and close together, she wanted to keep me at the hospital. But I wasn't far enough along to be admitted. Her solution?
An amazing little thing called a "morphine rest". I would stay in triage, they would hook me up to a morphine IV which would allow my body to relax through the contractions and hopefully allow me to dilate (and hopefully sleep a bit) and then they would see if I had progressed far enough to admit me in a few hours.
YES, YES, MORPHINE NOW!!!
It was magical.
I could still feel the peak of the contractions but I was much less intense. And I definitely fell in and out of sleep for a few hours.
Monday, May 20
By 4am I was 6cm. SIX!!!!!!!! This was real progress!! Time to be admitted!!!
I made the walk to labor and delivery - very slowly - the morphine had totally wore off by now and the contractions were fast and furious.
By 7:30am I was begging for an epidural (all of you who have done this drug free...YOU ARE AMAZING, NON-HUMANS. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU SURVIVED. I APPLAUD YOUR STRENGTH!!! YOU ARE SUPER WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!
Dr. Jaffee gave me an epidural around 8:30am - it was heaven.
And then it was a solid 6 hours of just laying around, watching tv, dozing in and out of sleep, and slowwwwwllllyyy dilating to 10cm.
At 2:45pm I was finally 10cm. YAY!!!
Now this is where it gets interesting.
I could feel the epidural slowly wearing off around 2pm. At 2:45pm it was basically doing nothing. And now is the time to start pushing. Lovely. However the nurse tells me that, even with an epidural, the pain and pressure of pushing does not go away.
So apparently you are basically screwed no matter what when it comes to pushing a gigantic child out of your body.
Now, the pushing.
I never had to do this before.
With Luke, I never progressed further than 7cm. Labored for 27 hours. Then had a c-section.
No pushing.
So, this was basically like having another first baby.
The nurse and doctor warned me that the pushing could take a long time.
I thought - no problem! I am in pretty good shape. I have really strong ab and leg muscles. Bring it on.
Then, I started pushing.
Holy Crap.
This pushing thing is HARD. Like, ridiculously hard.
And the worst part is, there is really no result for a LOOONNNGGG time. (For me anyway.)
You push and push and push and push and NOTHING. NADA.
It feels so helpless!
Oh - and as you are pushing - contractions are coming. And you are in severe pain. And the nurses and doctor and your husband are trying to cheer you on, telling you to "push harder!" "you can do it!" "don't give up!" "push through the pain!".
And it hurts like HELL.
And you are SWEATING like crazy (it feels like they turned the heat up to 100 - the way I picture hot yoga to be).
And every is just staring at your naked private area.
AND YOU TOTALLY POOP.
People will tell you, oh, don't worry - it will be fine, you won't even know it happens.
Oh - you KNOW it happens and it is gross.
After about THREE FREAKING HOURS of this I was DONE. My eyes were rolling into the back of my head. I felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn't feel my legs any more because they hurt so badly (I would later learn that I pulled a trillion muscles up and down both legs and my butt). The contractions were coming so fast that I didn't have a break between pushes - it was CONSTANT.
I looked at the doctor and begged "Is there ANYTHING you can do to make him come out faster?!".
She must have seen the desperation in my eyes.
She suggessted we try the vacuum.
I remembered learning about the vacuum in child birth class 3 years earlier. There were some risks to the baby...mostly superficial bruising and a risk of temporary "conehead". At this point I didn't care. Bring it on.
It took what felt like 2 hours (probably was 5 minutes) for her to get the vacuum ready. Finally it was on and ready to be used with the next push. I pushed and pushed and pushed and the vacuum CAME OFF!! WITH NO BABY!!!!
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pushing continues for what feels like an eternity (probably 10 minutes) and nothing is happening.
Still no head.
I am DYING.
I beg the doctor again - can we try the vacuum again?!
She says we can't reuse the vacuum but she does have another, more powerful vacuum we can try.
Um, YES PLEASE!
The nurse wheels over what looks like a gigantic generator!! With a huge suction cup attached to a long tube. It was super scary looking. SUPER SCARY.
I start to second guess using this super powerful generator vacuum, but then another ridiculous contraction comes and another horrendous painful push, and I forget about my second thoughts.
HOOK ME UP!!!!!!
This vacuum was PAINFUL to hook up. They basically take a large, rigid, plastic suction cup about the size of a large coffee cup INSIDE OF YOU and hook it to the baby's head. So not only is the coffee cup suction cup inside of you but also the doctor's hands as she tries to affix this torture device to the baby.
Let's just say it did not feel good.
Then, they turned the suction on as I pushed and WHOOOOSHHHHH....Adam came flying out.
It felt horrible, amazing, excrutiating and electrifying all in one.
He looked SO BIG. SO LONG.
HOW WAS HE JUST INSIDE OF ME?!?!
He cried right away (thank God!!).
They suctioned out his mouth and wiped him off real quick and then laid him on my chest.
It was AMAZING.
And made this entire experience totally worth it.
It is true what they say, the pain goes away, and your memory of it fades.
But it is not immediate.
I felt every stitch they used to sew me back up (I have no idea how many stitches - it felt like A LOT).
Delivering the placenta is NOT a pleasant experience (it involves the doctor pushing with all of her might on your stomach and feels kind of like you are giving birth all over again).
I popped a million blood vessels in my face from pushing so hard.
I couldn't move my arms past my shoulders for 2 weeks after (pulled muscles).
You can't pee or poop normally for a solid 5-6 days after you deliver.
My right butt cheek and leg are still sore from pulling muscles.
You feel like you were hit by a bus.
But, when all is said and done, you get this....
And your heart grows twice its size.
And you think, what did I do to become this lucky (again!?)?
And it is SO TOTALLY WORTH every pain, every contraction, every pulled muscle, every hour of pushing.
SO TOTALLY WORTH IT.
And I also have to remember Nurse Rosie. She was AMAZING. She was encouraging, yet firm. She kept me informed of the baby's condition (amazingly, Adam was perfectly happy and healthy during this entire labor!). She calmed me down. She had this amazing demeanor in the delivery room that made me know everything was going to be ok. Nurse Rosie is AWESOME.
And that, my friends, is Adam's Birth Story. A successful VBAC. Just what I wanted.
(Although I had NO IDEA what I was getting myself into!!)
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